I finished one significant project today. It’s a 9-episode webseries with Three Legged Race, my sketch/improv/video/occasional Renaissance Faire, but we don’t talk about that troupe.
It’s called the National Gelatinous Cube Attack Hotline, and the concept is fairly simple. It’s a series of calls to a hotline that helps people out when they’re attacked by gelatinous cubes, or when they want to prevent gelatinous cube attacks. I wrote the series, and I play the unnamed Hotline operator.
The impetus for the series was actually a sketch that didn’t make it into 3LR’s most recent sketch show, Front for Evil. The sketch was about orcs playing the orcish equivalent of Dungeons and Dragons. But one of the members of the gaming group was a pesky little kobold, and on this day, he had brought along his pet gelatinous cube.
The sketch really didn’t work, being simultaneously too complicated and too meta, but I still felt strongly that gelatinous cubes aren’t represented in comedy nearly enough. So…
Here’s the full 9-part series. Episodes 1 and 2 are actually just voice-overs; the live action watching stuff doesn’t come until episode 3. Were I doing it over again, I would probably forgo those two. I’m not offended if you skip them.
Episode 1: Prologue. This is simply the voice mail menu you hear when you call the NGCAH.
Episode 2: Status Report. Want to know what gelatinous cube activity has been reported in Lincoln Park? Here’s the update.
Episode 3: Green Slime. The NGCAH has no tolerance for people who do not obey the menu.
Episode 4: Rebellious Kids. Sometimes the NGCAH can help parents with issues that aren’t gelatinous cube-related.
Episode 5: Gift Options. Did you know that you can order gelatinous cube gifts? You can! Featuring Doug’s famous, and now sadly repainted, pretty pretty princess room.
Episode 6: Neighborhood Watch. Don’t wait for the gelatinous cubes to attack to take action!
Episode 7: The Dog. Sometimes the only thing worse than having a gelatinous cube in your apartment is not having a gelatinous cube in your apartment.
Episode 8: Donation. You should donate to the National Gelatinous Cube Attack Hotline. Of course, you may wind up donating more than you intended.
Episode 9: Trapped! Finally, we see what happens when somebody is actually trapped in a gelatinous cube. Featuring the acting debut of SSCHSCHSCH, the gelatinous cube, as the gelatinous cube.